Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Quick update

Hey everyone - in case you hadn't noticed I've been MIA. yep its true. I know I know , I mostly just talk to myself on this but I havent posted anything since February 4th (holy moly right!).

Because I write this blog for myself (and because I choose to make it public) I'm trying to say this in my way. Life has been difficult - granted its not always easy but the past two weeks of my life have not been fun.  Without this turning into a complete life story and not wanting to go into too much detail (because again public aspect and I want to stay internet safe) I got a call from my mom because she had to put my dad on Hospice.  Woah right - yah, thats just one small step into my world. So after that it was get a flight so I could be with my family and say my goodbye because we were told the 'it could be a few days to a week or two'.

I'm a born and raised Floridian - my mom and dad moved to my mom's hometown in Ohio so traveling up there in winter is oh so fun. This is what it looked like on February 11th. Dont mind the van, I somehow managed to get it stuck. Guess front wheel drive + icy driveway dont mix. Anywhoo, I spent the weekend until Sunday February 13th. Hardest weekend of my life because saying goodbye was really goodbye.

On Monday February 14th at 5pm - my father passed away. Yes Valentines day. The day of love and boy did my dad love his family and did we love him. My dad was 57. No my dad did not have cancer, no this was not a sudden death, 10 years ago he was in a bad car accident and as a result he had a traumatic brain injury. This injury was the cause of his death, we knew it would be, it would age him faster than normal - how fast? we didnt really know but last week while looking back at pictures its crazy to see the progression of when he came home from the hospital to days before his death. He looked so young, he was able to do so much more back then. Granted he was in a wheelchair but my mom (who quit work to become his full time caregiver) and him did so much (though not always easy) - from bowling to airboat rides, to going to the southernmost point,to waterskiing, to theraputic horseback riding they did a ton.

I am hanging in there- my faith is in God and my dad's was too, so I know hes in Heaven. I know he's healed now having the time of his life. I am still sad. I will miss him until I get to see him again. My mom's heart is broken (I can tell without her telling me)- her faith comforts her too - I know its really hard for since they had their routine, and now its all different. But my mom is the strongest person I know and I admire her in so many ways.

Now why am I putting this out there? I think deep down its a way for me to heal more. I think in a way I can stand on my soap box and tell anyone out there that Life is too short - I know this personally now- I was 17 when my dad's accident happened and it changed my life drastically, so dont take things for granted. Dont be afraid of someone who may look/act/sound different - or if they are in a wheelchair, they are people too and everyone likes a quick smile when walking past one another or a 'good morning, 'hello', 'hi'.  It really goes a long way and you could make someone's day.

I love my daddy. I will always be a daddy's girl! xoxo Love you Dad! (gotta love the 80s)

1 comment:

  1. First of all, your dad's hair was FANTASTIC!

    But also, thank you for sharing this. I had no idea what caused your father's death. I'm sure this post was hard for you to write, and I hope it was a good step in the healing.